Dear Beth
by RoganGirl13
Summary: Quinn receives a journal for Christmas and decides to fill it with letters to her daughter. Will Beth ever read them? Please read & review!
1. The Journal

Quinn sighed as she admired the sparkly pink snowflakes on the journal her father had so carelessly mailed to her for Christmas. She hadn't seen or spoken to him since he kicked her out of the house upon finding out she was pregnant. Quinn wasn't sure why he even bothered. His gifts were always so impersonal. They never came from the heart. He was never one to show emotion. She'd never seen him cry or be sad. She'd seen him mad though. Several times. Quinn didn't want to think about the time he was the angriest she'd ever seen him. The day he found out his baby girl was going to have a baby of her own.

_Of her own._ The words had an annoying ring in Quinn's head. Her baby girl wasn't her own anymore. Her angel now belonged to Shelby Corcoran, and she was never going to get her back. Until now, Quinn had learned to ignore the dull ache that still remained in her heart from saying goodbye to Beth. _Her Beth. _She didn't even try to shake that thought out of her head. In her heart, she knew that Beth was still hers. She was a mother, like it or not. She may not be the one raising her daughter, but the pain that lingered in her heart was that of mother missing her child. Quinn couldn't take it anymore. She needed a way to express her feelings, her thoughts, and her love for her daughter.

Suddenly the gift made sense. Quinn opened the journal, grabbed her favorite purple pen from the Tinker Bell mug she got from Brittany, and started writing.

_Dear Beth,_

_ It's been seven months since you were born. Wow. Has it really been that long? It feels like it's been an eternity. Every day since I came home from the hospital has been a matter of survival. For the longest time, all I thought about was the fact that I didn't have you with me. When Mr. Schuester and Puck (he's your dad) sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" I imagined him singing to you as you fell asleep. Just thinking about it now makes me cry. We could've been the perfect family. The three of us. Anyway..._

_ I spent most of the summer in the nursery my mom made for you. I sat in the rocking chair, crying and praying, day and night. That room held and still holds every piece of evidence I have that ever belonged to me. The ultrasound pictures. Pictures of me as I stomach kept getting bigger and bigger. The clothes my mother bought for you are still in the dresser waiting to be used. But they won't be. That's also where I keep the monthly update packages I get from Shelby. She sends me pictures every month to show me how you're doing. I look at them every free second I get. As I said before, you're seven months now which means I should be getting another one soon. I can't wait._

_ I don't have the heart to tell Mom to get rid of the nursery. As much as a painful reminder it is that you're not here, it's also a reminder that you still exist. Normally I hate those stupid text emoticons, but I 3 you Beth. I really do. If you've ever thought even for a second (which, knowing the situation, you probably have) that I gave you up because I didn't love you or want you, you were absolutely wrong. To this day, I want nothing more than to hold you and tell you exactly how much I love you. Such feelings probably can't be described in words. I love you more than you can imagine, even if it doesn't seem like it. But enough about me._

_ You probably have a great life with Shelby. I'm sure she got you involved with the Glee club at school, but if she didn't that's OK too. Just a little word of advice. If you became a cheerleader like me, do NOT, under any circumstances, get involved with the star football player. It's such a cliché, and it just messed everything up for me. Not that I didn't love Finn. It just made things a lot more complicated. Also, stay away from wine coolers. That's why you're here in the first place. However, that's another story for another time._

_ I'm going to end this letter here, but I want you to know that I plan on writing many more in the future. So for now I'll just say that I hope you're happy with your life because that's the whole reason I did what I did. Shelby could give you a much better life than I could. That's just the truth. The reality. I hope you love Shelby as much as I know she loves you. She deserves your love. Everyone deserves a second chance. She didn't get the chance to be Rachel's mom until much later on. As much as I hate to admit it, Rachel Berry's proving to be a pretty great big sister. Half the pictures I get of you are with her smiling a huge obnoxious smile. She's proud of you, you know. And so am I. I love you._

_From,_

_Quinn (or Mom, whatever)_


	2. Of Slushies and Babydaddies

It was only third period on the first day of the new semester and Quinn already wished she e hadn't gotten out of bed. No one had given her the memo that slushie tossing season had started again, so she was inevitably one of the first targets. Did they have to do it when it was already so cold outside? Quinn envied Kurt and Mercedes as they walked past her in brand new rain jackets. She sighed in relief as Sam appeared next to her with a paper towel. "You too huh?" She nods and he gives her a sad, sympathetic smile. He asks her how her winter break was and she mumbles a generic reply before hurrying to her next class. He grabs her before she can get away. "Hey, what's going on with you? All winter break, you barely wanted to talk to me, and when you did you seemed really distracted. Are you mad at me or something?'

"No," Quinn replied. "This has nothing to do with you. And you're right. I have been really distracted lately. I've just been thinking about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Sam demanded. Quinn just shook her head. She didn't like talking about Beth with Sam. When she was around him was when she tried her hardest to put her past behind her. She quickly assured him one more time that she was fine and dashed off to biology.

As she rounded the corner, she saw Puck leaning against the wall. "Shouldn't you be getting to class, Puck?" she asked him. He ignored her. She stopped and stared at him, waiting for a response. He said nothing, keeping his eyes on the tiled floor. It wasn't until then that Quinn realized Puck had been ignoring her all day. "What's going on Puck?" she demanded, "You haven't said a word to me all day!" Puck continued to look at the ground. The halls were quieter now that the warning bell had rung, and Quinn suddenly realized she could her Puck whistling a familiar tune. "Puck, why are you whistling the Sesame Street theme song?"

"It's just, uh, stuck in my head," he replied awkwardly.

"I can't believe about to ask this, but why?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't. What I do care about is you avoiding me!" Quinn exclaimed.

"I'm not avoiding you. I've barely seen you today."

"Not just today. During winter break, when I called you looking for some words of comfort, you never there!"

"Then why didn't you just call your little boyfriend?" Puck asked.

"He doesn't know what I'm going through. You do." Quinn lowered her voice, "I miss her, Puck." For the first time in seven months, Quinn let a few tears escape. Puck took her in his arms. The bell rang then, but neither of them cared. "I did miss her, but I remedied that."

"How?" Quinn asked.

"By seeing her," Puck replied. Quinn just stared at him, so he continued talking, "Sometimes my community service involves picking up in trash on highways in Carmel, so I stop by Shelby's place," Puck explained.

"You _see _her?" Quinn whispered.

"Yeah. Just every once in a while. You wanna see pictures?"

"No, Puck, I don't!" That was a lie, but she was too mad at Puck right now to look at pictures.

"What's wrong?" Puck asked.

"What's wrong? What's wrong is the fact that you visited my daughter behind my back!"

"That really hurts, Quinn," Puck replied as he turned to walk away.

"How are _you _hurt right now?" Quinn demanded.

"Beth's my daughter too! I can visit her sometimes if I want. Shelby's totally cool with it. She even asked me to bring you next time."

"She did? Really?"

"Yeah. She's surprised you haven't talked to her about visiting before."

"I was afraid it would be too hard to say goodbye again." Quinn stated simply.

"Well it doesn't have to be goodbye every time. Just 'see ya later'. You don't have to visit just once."

"Just see ya later?" Quinn replied. Puck nodded. "So you watch Sesame Street with her?" Quinn asked in disbelief. Puck chuckled and nodded again.

"Yeah, and other stuff too. I also play the guitar for her. She loves it. I've got pictures." Puck held up his phone and Quinn nodded, eager to see Puck sharing his talent with their daughter. Sure enough, there was Puck strumming away while Beth clapped her tiny hands. Quinn remembered from Shelby's latest update letter that Beth was clapping now. She was beautiful. Puck interrupted her thoughts by asking if she wanted to help him babysit Beth the next night while Shelby was at a meeting. Quinn, of course, said yes and hurried off to class. This day just got so much better.

The rest of the day went by pretty smoothly. Glee club was canceled due to chance of snow, so Quinn was able to hurry home. The first thing she did when she got there was go up to Beth's room, which was now where she kept her journal. She practically yanked it off the shelf and sat in the rocker to write.

_Dear Beth,_

_ I'm gonna make this one short because I have studying to do, but today I found out that your dad's been visiting you. I just want you to know that the reason I haven't yet is because I was afraid of having to say goodbye again so soon, but I'm not worried about that anymore. Both your dad and I are going to babysit you tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited. Also, Puck showed me pictures of him playing the guitar for you. You seem to enjoy it as much as I do. That's awesome. Anyways, I have to go. See you tomorrow!_

_From,_

_Quinn (AKA Mom)_


	3. Babysitting Beth Part 1

Quinn twiddled her fingers nervously as she sat in Puck's car, trying to focus on her Spanish homework so she could get it done before they got to Shelby's. Most of it didn't even require much focus. Just conjugating irregular verbs. All review. Still, it was hard to conjure up the small amount of focus it did require because she was so anxious. After all, she was about to hold her daughter for the first time since she said goodbye at the hospital. She got butterflies in her stomach just thinking about it. Puck looked at her and they both smiled. Something about seeing him smile made her calm down. Sorta. She was still nervous as heck. Beth may be her daughter, but Quinn really didn't know that much about babies. Oh well. Maybe she would have some kind of motherly instinct?

After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled into Shelby's driveway. Puck came around and opened the door for her. Quinn stepped out nervously as Puck grabbed his guitar from the trunk. He grabbed her hand, gave it a reassuring squeeze, and together they walked up to the door. Quinn rang the doorbell. As she did so, she noticed her hand was trembling. It didn't take long for Shelby to answer. She quickly ushered them in and took their coats. She made small talk for a few minutes and showed them where the emergency numbers were, but Quinn wasn't paying attention. She was mesmerized by the sea of pictures that covered the fridge. She had seen most of them before in the monthly updates, but it was still cool to look at the pictures, knowing she'd be seeing the real thing in just a few minutes.

Quinn finally spoke up. "So where is she?" she asked anxiously. Shelby gave her a knowing smile and led them both into the living room, which was flooded with toys. Shelby told them to ignore the mess as she pushed toys out of the way. It was then that Quinn noticed the baby in the middle of the chaos. She was sitting in one of those baby walkers, playing with the toys on it and talking to herself. She looked extremely concentrated on the toy in front of her until Shelby lifted her out of the walker. She whined in protest with the most adorable pout Quinn had ever seen. Shelby tried shushing her, but as soon as Beth's eyes found Puck her face lit up, and she squealed with joy. She knew him. This made Quinn feel both jealous and guilty. Shelby must have read her expression because she immediately handed Quinn the baby. Quinn took Beth eagerly in her arms, and took in her sweet baby scent. It absolutely melted her heart. She was enamored with the baby that she almost didn't notice Shelby quietly slip out the door.

"So what now?" Quinn asked. Just as she asked, Beth started to fuss again. Quinn figured it was because she noticed her mom was gone, but Puck seemed to know better. He smiled, took Beth from her and headed back toward the kitchen. "Dinnertime!" he announced.

When they got to the kitchen, Puck handed Beth back to Quinn and motioned for her to put her in the highchair. While they waited for Puck to prepare the baby food, Quinn tried entertaining Beth by making ridiculous faces and sounds. Beth wasn't too impressed. Luckily Puck had her dinner ready soon enough. "So what's on the menu tonight, Mr. Gourmet Chef?" Quinn joked. Puck rolled his eyes, but Quinn could see he was trying to hide a smile. "Squash," he replied. He took a seat next to Quinn in front of the highchair and held the spoon out towards the baby's mouth. Beth, however, was not impressed. She turned her head as far away from the spoon as she could. Not ready to admit defeat, Puck tried the classic "Here comes the choo choo train", but it only made Beth (and Quinn) laugh hysterically. "Let me try," Quinn offered. If she knew one thing about babies, she knew they learned by example. She held the spoon up to her own mouth and pretended to nibble on it, then offered it to Beth again. This time, Beth eagerly took the spoonful, followed by the entire bowl of squash. Puck sighed in defeat. Quinn just smiled.

After Beth ate, it became very obvious she needed a diaper change. "I got it," Puck assured Quinn. Quinn was relieved. She wasn't quite ready to deal with _that _part yet. She became even more relieved when she heard Puck groan in disgust.

A few minutes later, Puck emerged from the nursery and announced it was bath time. He led Quinn into the bathroom and told her to fill the bathtub while he picked out Beth's pajamas. He then left Quinn alone and headed back to the nursery. Once Puck was gone, Quinn actually had time to herself to think. She couldn't get over how "Daddy-ish" Puck was Puck was being towards Beth. It was so unlike him. Did he really care about Beth that much? Quinn remembered the look on his face when he saw Beth for the first time and the pain in his eyes when she said she didn't want to keep the baby, and decided that yes, he did care about her. Quinn turned the water off and pondered this some more. Did she make the right decision by choosing adoption? Would she and Puck actually have been good parents to Beth? Puck and Beth appeared then, and Quinn pushed the thought out of her mind once again.

The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. After the bath, Puck and Quinn laid Beth on the floor and let her play with her toys. She got bored with that after about ten minutes, so Puck pulled out his guitar and began to play.

_She's got a smile that it seems to me_

_Reminds me of childhood memories_

_Where everything_

_Was as fresh as the bright blue sky_

Quinn was almost brought to tears by the meaning in his words. She could really see the emotion on his face as he sang. Quinn started singing along.

_Now and then when I see her face_

_It takes me away to that special place_

_And if I'd stare too long_

_I'd probably break down and cry_

_Sweet child of mine_

_Sweet love of mine_

Quinn had been so wrapped up in the song that she hadn't noticed Beth had fallen asleep. Puck noticed at the same time and reached to pick her up. "No, let me!" Quinn insisted. When Puck didn't protest, Quinn gently lifted the sleeping baby off of the floor and carried her to the nursery. Quinn was surprised when Beth didn't even stir. Quinn sat down in the rocking chair near the crib and gently rocked her sleeping daughter. For some reason, Quinn was reminded of her mother singing and rocking her to sleep when she was young. It was a rare occurrence, but it did happen occasionally. The song her mother usually sang was from one of Quinn's favorite childhood movies. She starting humming it, and before long, she found herself singing it to her daughter

_Baby mine, don't you cry_

_Baby mine, dry your eyes_

_Rest your head close to my heart_

_Never to part, baby of mine_

Quinn hummed the rest of the song until she heard the front door open and close. She placed Beth into her crib, placed a quick kiss on her cheek, and returned to the living room.

"We're supposed to get about six inches by morning," Shelby was saying. "You two won't be going anywhere tonight. Puck, you can have the guest room if you want, and Quinn, you can have the extra bed in the nursery." Puck simply nodded. Quinn just stood there in shock. A whole night at Shelby's sleeping in the same room as her daughter? All because of snow? Quinn couldn'r believe her luck.

A/N So Quinn and Puck are snowed in at Shelby's! What do you think will happen? I'll tell you this, it will be very interesting. So R&R and I'll try to get chapter 4 up buy tomorrow night! =)


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